Should You Have a Wedding First Look? My Honest Advice as a Wedding Photographer
One of the questions I get asked all. the. time. is whether couples should do a wedding first look or wait until the ceremony to see each other for the very first time. It's one of my favorite conversations to have because honestly there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer.
I've photographed first looks that had me crying behind my camera before the ceremony even started, 🥹 and I've photographed aisle reveals that gave me goosebumps from head-to-toe. I've seen grooms burst into tears the second they turned around, couples dissolve into laughter because the nerves instantly disappeared, and others stand there stunned and smiling, as the reality of the day finally sinks in. So, which one is better? Well, my photographer brain and my personal values actually have two different answers.
As your Upstate NY wedding photographer, I'll almost always recommend a wedding first look because of everything it does for your timeline and your overall experience. (Like, 10/10, do this!) But when I was actually planning my own wedding, my husband and I actually opted for a traditional aisle reveal because he deeply wanted the first time he saw me on our wedding day to be when I walked down the aisle! So today, let's talk through both options, and figure out how to decide which one feels like the best option for you!
What Is a Wedding First Look?
A wedding first look is exactly what it sounds like—a private moment before your ceremony where you and your fiancé see each other for the very first time, and it takes place sometime before your ceremony. Typically, it's just the two of you, your media team (photographer and/or videographer), and maybe a venue coordinator if we need a golf cart ride to get to your portrait location. 😉 But as a rule of thumb, it’s just us—no bridal party, parents, or guests. And I have to tell you— there is something SO incredibly special about having a few quiet minutes together before the excitement of the day really begins!
I've watched couples melt into the biggest hugs, burst into laughter because one of them immediately cracked a joke, cry happy tears before either of them could get a word out, or simply stand there smiling as the reality of the day finally sinks in.
No two first looks are ever the same—and I think that's exactly what makes them so beautiful. BTW you can see more photos of the following Jersey City wedding here! 🤗
Why I Usually Recommend a Wedding First Look
If you've ever asked me this question during a consultation, you probably already know my answer. 😂 While there isn't a "right" choice, per say, there are a lot of reasons I absolutely love first looks from a photography and timeline perspective. 👇🏼
You Actually Get to Enjoy Cocktail Hour
I’m sure we can all agree that spending the majority of your cocktail hour taking family photos isn't exactly what you pictured when you started planning your wedding. 😂 One of the biggest advantages of a first look at your wedding is that we can complete the majority of your portraits before your ceremony even begins!
That means that once you're officially married, we may have a handful of extended family photos to finish (and maybe sneak away for a few golden hour portraits later!), but otherwise... you're free!
You can be fully present for your cocktail hour to grab your signature cocktail, hug your grandparents, actually eat the appetizers you spent months picking out, and celebrate with the people you invited. Trust me—your future self will be so grateful! 🥂
It Helps Calm Those Pre-Ceremony Jitters
Public speaking isn't everyone's cup of tea. 🤓 Neither is walking down an aisle while everyone turns around to look at you. Whether you're nervous about saying your vows in front of 150 people or you're simply dying to see and squeeze your honey 🥹, a wedding first look can be incredibly grounding. I've watched couples go from visibly anxious to completely relaxed within seconds of seeing each other. Sometimes all you need is one really good hug!
You Can Share Private Vows
One of my favorite trends lately is couples choosing to exchange private vows during their first look. Maybe you've written deeply personal vows like Sam and Len but still want to say traditional vows during your ceremony—then a first look gives you space for both (without worrying about whether you'll make it through your ceremony without crying). 😝 Just the two of you, sharing one of the most meaningful conversations of your lives.
Cue the Happy Tears
If you're someone who cries during commercials (hi...same 😂), a wedding first look is a wonderful place to let those emotions happen naturally. I've photographed grooms who couldn't even look at their bride without immediately tearing up. I've watched brides cry happy tears before either of them said a single word. One of the best parts about having a first look at your wedding is if your mascara needs a tiny touch-up afterward, there's actually time for that before the ceremony begins!
Your Timeline Becomes So Much More Relaxed
If I could magically give every couple one gift on their wedding day, it would probably be more time. Honestly, the main reason I recommend a wedding first look is because it creates breathing room throughout your entire day. Instead of trying to fit every family photo, bridal party portrait, and couple portrait into cocktail hour, we've already checked off the majority of those boxes before the ceremony. That means your day feels less rushed and a whole lot more enjoyable. And if something runs behind (because let's be honest...weddings sometimes do), your entire timeline doesn't immediately fall apart. Win-win. 😉
It's the Perfect Time to Exchange Gifts
Another favorite aspect of a wedding first look is that it gives you a few uninterrupted minutes together before the whirlwind of the day begins, which is the perfect time to exchange gifts! I've seen couples give heartfelt letters and surprise each other with meaningful gifts, and these little moments are often the ones couples remember most because it's one of the only times all day that it's just the two of you. 🥹
Hi, I’m Emilee!
If you’re looking for joyful, emotion-rich imagery, then I maaaay be your gal!
I’m an Upstate NY Wedding Photographer who specializes in a laid-back photography approach, and I’d love to help tell your love story!
How Long Does a Wedding First Look Take?
I usually recommend setting aside a minimum of 45-minutes to one hour, which gives us plenty of time for all your portrait groupings without anyone feeling rushed!
A typical timeline might include:
15–30 minutes for your portraits together
About 15 minutes with your bridal party
About 15 minutes for immediate family photos
Every wedding day is different, of course, but this is usually my sweet spot!
Choosing the Perfect Location for Your Wedding First Look
I absolutely love choosing the location for a wedding first look! Rather than simply finding an empty spot, I look for a place that reflects the beauty of your wedding day, including the ambiance and scenery of your venue. If you're getting married at a winery, we'll take advantage of the rows of vines. If your venue overlooks a lake, we'll incorporate the water into your portraits. If you fell in love with your venue because of its incredible architecture or a nearby waterfall, let's make those features part of your first look, too. 😍
Of course, I'm also thinking about all the behind-the-scenes details you shouldn't have to worry about, including where the sun will be, whether we'll have enough privacy, and if guests have already started arriving. Sometimes the most beautiful location isn't actually the best one for your timeline, and that's where I'll step in to guide you. My goal is to find a spot that not only photographs beautifully, but also allows you to be fully present in one of the most meaningful, intimate moments of your wedding day.
Below you’ll see photos from Devin and Brady’s first look! They chose to have their wedding first look beneath a canopy of lush green trees at the Inn at Taughannock Falls, where they also exchanged private vows before the ceremony. Away from the guests and all the excitement, they had the chance to laugh, cry, and simply soak in the moment together before saying "I do." 🥹
What Is an Aisle Reveal?
An aisle reveal is exactly what it sounds like—you and your fiancé wait until the ceremony to see each other for the very first time! It's the traditional approach that's been part of weddings for generations, and for many couples, it's the moment they've been dreaming about long before they were ever engaged.
There's something so special about hearing the music begin, taking that first step down the aisle, and watching your fiancé's face light up as they see you for the first time. It's one of those moments that feels iconic, transcendent, and at the risk of sounding dramatic, almost suspended in time. 😌
Why Couples Love an Aisle Reveal
It's a Timeless Tradition
There's a reason this has remained a wedding tradition for so many years. For many couples, there's something incredibly meaningful about waiting until the ceremony to lock eyes for the very first time. It builds anticipation throughout the morning and makes your walk down the aisle feel even more significant. At my own wedding, I personally felt like it was the most surreal, special moment. Linking arms with my dad and seeing the eyes of everyone shift from Jon’s to my own, I suddenly understood why so many couples choose to wait. There was something incredibly sacred about that first glance—after months of planning and a morning full of anticipation, it felt like the entire day had been leading to that single moment.
The Emotions Can Be Unforgettable
If you've ever watched a wedding video where the groom immediately starts sobbing as his bride walks toward him...there's a 99% chance it was an aisle reveal. 🥹 Of course, tears aren't guaranteed (nor are they the goal!), but there is an undeniable, emotionally palpable "wow" factor when you see each other for the first time—surrounded by everyone who loves you—which can often product tears. 🤍
It Made the Most Sense for Us
Here's a little behind-the-scenes from my own wedding—even though I often recommend a wedding first look to so many of my couples (for all the reasons listed above!) Jon really wanted to do a tried-and-true aisle reveal. He had always dreamed of seeing me for the very first time as I walked down the aisle, and even though I personally wanted a first look, I knew it meant a lot to him so we opted for an aisle reveal.
Looking back, I wouldn't change our decision for anything. That's why I always tell my couples this: my photographer side might recommend a first look because it creates a more relaxed timeline, but my personal experience completely empathizes with the desire to save that moment for the ceremony. Neither choice is wrong! It simply comes down to what feels most meaningful to the two of you!
Psst… in case you haven’t noticed, awkward photos aren’t really my vibe.
My goal is to get you feeling comfortable and yourself, so you can enjoy personality-driven imagery for years to come!
If you’re looking at this gallery, thinking, “YASSSSS!”, then we need to talk… like yesterday!
Want the Best of Both Worlds? Consider a First Touch
If a wedding first look feels like a little too much, but you'd still love a quiet moment together before the ceremony, let me introduce you to a creative alternatives—a first touch.
During a first touch, you and your fiancé stand on opposite sides of a doorway, around a corner, or behind a wall where you can't actually see each other—but you can hold hands, pray together, exchange letters, or even read private vows. One of my sweet couples, Marissa and Zack, did exactly this! They wanted a private moment together before the ceremony, but they also wanted to preserve the emotion of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. It truly gave them the best of both worlds.
So...Should You Have a Wedding First Look or an Aisle Reveal?
If you asked me purely from a photographer's perspective, I'd probably recommend a first look. I love how much flexibility it creates for your timeline, how it allows you to actually enjoy cocktail hour, and how it helps many couples feel more relaxed before the ceremony even begins.
But if you asked me as a bride? My answer is a little different. 🤍
I'd tell you to choose the option that feels the most instinctive to the two of you. Whether that's sharing a private first look tucked beneath the trees, holding hands during a first touch, or waiting until the church doors open and your eyes finally meet at the end of the aisle, there truly isn't a wrong choice.
At the end of the day, the best photographs don't happen because you chose a wedding first look or an aisle reveal. They happen because you two created a wedding day experience that felt most authentic to your relationship. Those genuine emotions—the happy tears, the laughter, the butterflies, and the overwhelming excitement of finally marrying your favorite person—are what make your photos genuine, no matter when you see each other for the first time.
Planning Your Wedding Day Timeline?
Whether you're leaning toward a wedding first look, dreaming of a traditional aisle reveal, or still trying to decide between the two, remember that there isn't a wrong choice! As a couple, the best approach is to choose which feels most like you. If you're looking for even more tips on creating a relaxed, intentional wedding day, be sure to read my guide to planning your wedding timeline. And if you're searching for an Upstate New York wedding photographer who will help you navigate these decisions every step of the way, I'd be honored to collaborate with you and tell your lovey story. 🤍